A Cube divided by A equals to A Square
Wednesday, October 29, 2008 at 12:38 AM | 1 comments  
Surprised by the subject of this post, well there's a long story and a short story to elaborate on the subject.

A Cube

If you remember a guy called Tunna, he had once made a small J2ME Application for his Sony Ericsson Walkman Phone, which seems to be outdated now. I mean both the mobile and the application, actually Tunna is outdated as well, by today's standards ;)

So, Tunna along with two more guys from same batch collaborated to make this application, named it A Cube, just because all the three members had intial in first name as A. Talking about collaboration, surprisingly Tunna was the only one who worked hard in that project. Thats an inside story, don't tell anyone else..

Divided by A

So, if we divide A Cube by A, we get A Square- so lets take a look at the short story of A Square... This is really getting interesting :P

A Square

From Tunna, lets move on to Lecture Theatre 2, i.e. LT2.

Brief Overview
Lecture's going on SEM, not SEMester yaar! Rebel reaches the lecture 15 minutes late, time ki kya value hogi uske liye, jo duniya se ladne ko tayyar rehta hai har waqt..

Complete Story
Everyone's doing some silly assignment, and Rebel gets furious with the faculty in-charge and decides to copy the assignment :P So, everyone sitting the same quarter where Rebel was sitting were copying same solution, so did he!

Faculty was in mood to take revenge with the Rebel (haan haan puraani dushmani hai). Anyways, so A Square (she) fired questions at a lightning speed only to realize later that she was losing Oxygen at the same speed as well.

Rebel was in a state of shock and awe, so he didnt reply and sat calmly only to see Ms. A Square tearing his (Enrl. No.) and his group's assignments in public, and walk over..

This is not good manners, ek toh Rebel ne kuch kaha nahi upar se yeh attitude, not happening! This is how the above mathematics equation gets complete. So, now I feel I will paas T3 with an A grade..
Posted by Anonymous
BABA SHAMANI BANGALI.. hee haa haa haa
Saturday, October 25, 2008 at 12:38 AM | 4 comments  



Do I need to write anything for the support of the above pic? Each and every thing is caustic in itself.

For instance, look at the two portraits in the top left and right corner. "Sai Baba versus Skull Baba".

"Sabhi jagaho se nirash...." He knows that we have already visited sabhi jagahs. 

"keval 7 ghanto me" I remember an Eno ad that said.. "raahat sirf 6 seconds me". Obviously, he is focussing on a larger problem, so will naturally take some more time to provide that raahat.

"Mere kiye kaam ki kaat kare, muh maanga inaam". He doesn't even have the slightest hint what the confederates can ask for. :P

And then the "problem" list follows and follows and follows. Me and Rao spotted one more such problem which needs censor board approval to be listed here. :D

The highlights of the "problems" for me are "sautan va dushman se chhutkara", "pyar mohabbat", "prem vivah", "pati patni ke jhagde", "manchaha pyar va vashikaran". He 'sells' pyar and mohabbat. I will buy in wholesale. :D

And he is also capable for making as well as breaking the homes. "Pyar mohabbat" goes hand in hand with "pati patni ke jhagde". Such a multi tasker.

"Kale va ruhani ilm ke maahir". I couldnt understand it. And it is written in large font. :(
Oh no, how could I miss such an important information. 

"Jesa chahoge wesa hoga". Hum to kis kis ko and kya kya chah sakte hain. :D

Timings are also awesome. Looks like a government job, some office work with office timings.

And what great items he has asked us to bring. 2 nimbu, 2 agarbatti. Really scaring me off. Ya shikanji banane ko and machhar bhagane ko mangwa raha hai. Gawwwd knows...

Awesome amount. Rs. 151.. Does it include the expense of his shikanji and machhar affinity?

Finally comes the shubh naam. It had to be such. BABA SHAMANI BANGALI. Fascinated. Thrilled. What a name. Mr. B.S. Bangali... or Dr. B.S. Bangali?? :D

And look at the address. He sits in a complex, that too on the second floor. Perfect office work. And what an awesome place he has chosen for this work. NITHARI. Now needs no further explanation.

Finally the USP of the advertisment. The 2 phone numbers. Font Size, the maximum. Arial 72. Has Reliance connection as well. Mera to free padega. Khoob baat karunga babaji se. :P

Now after posting this, I am really in a state of terror. Kahin ye padh liya unhone, to apna "vashikaran" mujhpe hi na kar bethen. :(

Anyways, I am visiting him ASAP. Afterall, he says, jesa chahoge wesa paoge nahi to MUH MAANGA INAAM. We say in Hindi - Dono Hath Ghee Me. 

BABA ho to SHAMANI BANGALI jese ho.
Posted by Vaibhav Jain
Zehreeli kavita
Tuesday, October 14, 2008 at 3:09 PM | 0 comments  
The intent to write this kavita was quite a romantic one, but with passage of lines and thoughts, this is what it resulted in. Rao rightly suggested - I could sell each of the stanzas for Rs. 50 to truck-wallahs so that they can write these at the back of their trucks.

Read on the 'Caustically emotional', 'Caustically romantic' and 'Caustically Caustic' kavita and leave ur comments.

taaro si chamakti teri ye aankhen,
phoolon sa khila tera ye chehra,
madhosh kar denge tere ye kaakul,
ehsaas hai inme koi saagar sa gehra.

roop tera esa saawra salona,
roshan kar deta hai rooh ka har ek kona,
kya zaroorat hai dhan daulat ki,
tera poora ang hai chaandi sona.

na koi maan, na koi gumaan,
sharmo-haya ki tu moorat hai,
bholi pyari ithlayi si,
teri ye komal soorat hai.

aankhon me teri chhaya hai noor,
e maula, na karna mujhe tujhse door,
tere zulfo ki faili hai jo ye kali ghata,
bikhre hain chehre pe, unhe yun na tu hata.

sooraj ki pehli kiran jab padti hai tere mukh pe,
khil uthta hai ye saara jahaan,
baadal jab umad umad ke aate hain,
pehli bauchhar karte hain tere jism pe yahaan.

tujhe andaza nahin tu kya cheez hai
ya banti hai tu ab itni masoom.
khade hain jo teri jhalak paane ko betaabi se,
kher, kar le tu un deewano se maloom.

na mita sake tere mere pyar ko,
na gira sake koi mere vishwaas ko,
bas akhiri raasta hai kisi ke paas,
band karni padegi use meri saans ko.

:) :)
Posted by Vaibhav Jain
A lizard crawled into my server
Wednesday, October 1, 2008 at 3:25 PM | 0 comments  
The various help desks are always there to make the consumers' lives easier by answering their queries about the related matters. Consumers also feel at ease that there is always someone who is there to guide you incase you need help or have run into trouble.

Robert Half Technology in Menlo Park, CA reports some strange queries asked to the help desks, when they surveyed the CIOs. Some of those masterpieces are as follows. 

  • “Why isn’t my wireless mouse connected to the computer?”
  • “My laptop was run over by a truck. What should I do?”
  • “Can you rearrange the keyboard alphabetically?”
  • “How do I read my e-mail?”
  • “My computer is telling me to press any key to continue. Where is the ‘any’ key?”
  • “Can you reset the Internet for me?”
  • “There are animal crackers in my CD-ROM drive.”
  • “Can you build me a robot?”
Some end users called to report problems with mice -- not the electronic kind -- and other pests. To wit:

  • “Can you get the mice out of the ceiling?”
  • “A server went down, and I found a lizard had crawled into it and died.”
  • “A skunk ate my cable.”
Other requests signal more trouble than just a technical glitch. Here are some examples:

  • “How can I block e-mail from my manager?”
  • “Can I open the bank safe using my computer?”
  • “Can you install cable TV on my PC?”
  • “Can you order joysticks so that we can play video games?”
  • “I’d like to stop receiving e-mail on Fridays.”
Help desk professionals are known for lending a hand, but these end users took the concept too far: 

  • “Can you come and install my car stereo?”
  • “Where can I locate dry ice?”
  • “I’d like wireless computer access in my motor home.”
  • “Can you fix my typewriter?”
  • “How long does it take to bake a potato in a microwave?”
  • “My daughter is locked in the bathroom, can you pick the lock?”
  • “Can you tell me the weather forecast for next year?”
  • “The elevator is broken.”
  • “How do I wire a robotic turkey?”
  • “Where can I get software to track UFOs?”
  • “Can you repair my motorbike?”

These type of questions, in addition to add a humorous aspect, also tests the patience and empathy of the help desk personnels as well as their skills in dealing with such out-of-blue situations. 
Posted by Vaibhav Jain