It has been long I have scribbled something at my ‘second home’ (in terms of blogs). The reason being - I was involved in some kind of research work. It demanded a lot of effort, hard work and patience. And finally I am done.

This was a different kind of research. And since it is being mentioned here at cc-bcc, it ought to be ‘caustic’. For the past few days, Rao and I were busy noticing the behavior of our college students. We also had, clandestinely, put up close circuit hidden cameras at various places in our college building. It recorded the daily movements of the public and by the end of the day, we used to analyze it. This observation was recorded for 14 days, and now we are here – giving a solid conclusion – not generic but pertaining only to the confederates.

The prime motive for this research was that we both were getting jealous as well as itching for a girl who can roam with us day and night. We used to stand and sit hours in the corridors, in the ground, at the coffee shop, in the cafeteria and near the ‘khopchas’ and the only thing we observed was that all of the population always walked in couples. Each female had a male accompanying her. Hands in hands, hands around shoulder, hands in the partner’s pockets and sometimes hands at censored places.

It has been more than three toiling years yet we couldn’t find a girl for ourselves. One day, out of frustration, we went to the rest-room to check our faces if some part was missing or is out of place. But we were extremely normal and fine, yet we never understood why we had no girl with us whereas alien-like faces roam with two or more generally.

The girls’ choice is unpredictable. It is a question way beyond the study of psychology, we are mere engineering students. Three years are more than enough for this kind of longing – it’s like bereaving. So we finally decided to resort to the last way – the technology. It was used to observe girls – which kind of girls like what kind of guys, what do they do whole day long, from where they come up with never-ending conversations, how is it possible for them to talk even with the person standing next to them not able to hear a single thing and above all, whether they ever fight so that we can grab the opportunity?

One more big reason was that we were trying to spot girls who were not escorted by guys – who are single. And to our disappointment, we couldn’t get a single girl – ready to mingle – without a guy. What a fate! Deep studies and analysis revealed that girls’ choice of guys couldn’t even be understood by God himself. There is no fixed criterion except for the fact that we both are not at all fitting in any one of them. We are born losers – but all losers have been great lovers. When will women understand and realize this?

Anyways, the other findings of the research was that sometimes it was impossible for even the partner to decipher what the other was saying – nothing could be recorded in our highly sensitive camera even. All day along, they just remained with their partner doing literally nothing except giving a naughty and irritating smile once in a while. And about fighting? Yes they did. But it did not take long to settle their disputes – ice-cream was the major reason. So, we never had any opportunity to have grabbed it (opportunity, not ice-cream).

Finally we came to a conclusion that we always will remain what we are. Girls are not in our fate. But we are not among those who accept defeat. So, we decided to be “Caustic Couples”. ‘We’ means me and Rao. And please, before you come to any conclusion, just erase the word - GAY -from your dictionary for a moment. We are not behaving gays but “Caustic Couples”. Only intellectuals can differentiate. Intellectuals like us, deprived of a girl.

Why should we remain single? So, we have also formed a couple. ‘Caustic couples’ are far better than the ‘normal couples’. We don’t fight, we don’t cry, we don’t be sentimental, we don’t whisper to be difficult to understand, we both pay – not one person has to suffer as in ‘normal couples’, we don’t ‘expect’, we don’t restrict our partners to roam with a person of other ‘caustic’ couple, we don’t waste our time doing nothing.

On the contrary, we enjoy every moment, public doesn’t wink at one of us (as prevalent in the normal couples), doesn’t tease one of us, doesn’t stare at one of us, we have no problems introducing our partners to our parents, there is no restriction visiting homes of each other even staying up at night, sometimes sharing the same bed to sleep if we feel tired (of masti, idiot). We also have the full liberty to stare at ‘normal couples’ and sexy girls. We also share our feelings with each other without doubting.  There are many more advantages the ‘caustic couples’ have over the ‘normal couples’. Above all, we never break up.

Still, if you haven’t deleted that word, please do it. We are still in India and we know our limitations well. We don’t give our hands in hands, hands in pockets or hands at censored places, so keep that thing out of your corrupted minds. The Caustic Couples have suffered much for the last 3 years; now let us live some caustic lives.

But all said and done, the caustic couples would still like extend the invitation of being transformed into the normal couples. So if any beautiful girl ready to accept it, is heartily welcomed. Please someone come to us, pleaseeeeeeeeeee.

Ok ok, we are not getting desperate anymore. Looking for a good response positively, the Caustic Couples continue to enjoy presently. And if someone needs any more ideas of doing some caustic research, they can approach us unhesitatingly.